Monday, April 30, 2012

Donor Story

In a land far far away (Chicago) and in a time long long ago (early 2012) a team of nine complete strangers, each equipped with their own special abilities, assembled to fight a seemingly unbeatable and common foe. Boredom. 
Boredom, was and is an ugly monster that have had his claws tightly around the neck of Chicago for years! The citizens of this barren city have moped around, heads held low, with nothing to do for countless ages. The moment a citizen exhibits any sort of excitement or drive, they are immediately killed by Boredom. And Boredom doesn’t kill you with violence. No, he kills you with only a stare. He stares at you with his sad, empty eyes for up to an hour and you become so bored from just staring that you die. Bored to death.
One day, a group of goal-oriented and enthusiastic young people aptly named Who Truly Cares (WTC for short) stumbled upon Chicago on their cross country tour. This particular group travels from city to city to inspire the citizens to take action and make their city a better one. When they got to Chicago, they were blown away at how slow and uninspired its population was. They couldn’t believe that a place with so much potential could be so bland. Coming to the conclusion that this city needed their help more than any other, they decided to live their and inspire the folks through art.
 WTC began to make plans on how to spread inspiration around Chicago but Boredom got wind of this and quickly intervened. He busted into their headquarters and took WTC hostage! However, during the struggle, WTC was able to send out a distress signal to its Care-Givers, nine people who have extended their support to WTC in the past and who WTC knew would come to their rescue!This distress signal immediately makes it to the Care-Givers, consisting of the following:


Kendra Johnson who has the ability to clothe and de-clothe anyone, either making that person comfortable or embarrassed at the drop of a hat.


Tim McCalister who is equipped with the Golden Tool Belt of Moxen. The Moxens gave him this belt when he figured out how to make a platform tall enough so that their short leader could address his people with out being laughed at. 


Jazzma Pryor who is equipped with ten screaming babies. But only she can focus their screaming which can burst the eardrums of any foe.


Kaitlyn Pietras who can draw a scene or landscape on paper so fast and turn it into the actual surroundings she is standing in.


Bryan Cohen who is equipped with the power to give you so much advice about college that your head will immediately explode.


Catherine Cefalu who is equipped with the ability to accidentally quote Shakespeare thus confusing her opponents leaving them wondering why that quote was said in the first place


Jason Evans who is equipped with a newspaper with thin silver edges, slicing through anything it touches.


Lauren Manning who is equipped with an indestructible Straightening Iron that can melt through anything. 


And Shannon Vermeulen is equipped with the ability to innately know the floor plans of any building in the entire world.


The Care-Givers assemble in Chicago and follow the distress signal to an abandoned warehouse in the scarcely populated neighborhood of Lakeview. Shannon Vermeulen uses her floor plan ability and quickly figures out that WTC and Boredom are hidden in the damp basement of the warehouse. Then Kaitlyn Pietras draws a meadow of dandelions and quickly turns the warehouse into said meadow thus revealing WTC and Boredom. Boredom, realizing that he has been found, begins to stare the Care-Givers down! The Care-Givers begin to slink toward the ground, closer and closer, almost bored to death but WTC begins to shout inspirational quotes to Boredom such as “The power of imagination makes us infinite” and “Men do less than they ought, unless they do all they can”! 
Boredom turns his gaze to WTC, because he hates inspiration, thus breaking the stare with the Care-Givers. Seeing an opportunity to take action, Catherine Cefalu jumps on Boredom and to punch his eyes out so he can no longer stare at anyone but in the process she begins to accidentally blurt out Shakespeare! “To sleep, perchance to dream” she yells. Boredom becomes so confused by this statement that his eyes cross permanently leaving him sightless! Then, Tim McCalister takes a hammer out of his Golden Tool Belt and smashes Boredom’s foot which makes Boredom begin to hold the injured foot and hop on one leg. Jason Evans then throws his silver tipped newspaper at Boredom’s uninjured leg, slicing through it, causing Boredom to fall to the ground! 
Boredom begins to writhe around in pain. Kendra Johnson then clothes Boredom with the heaviest suit jacket and pant combo, so heavy that Boredom can no longer move. He now lies still on his back “looking” at the sky. Bryan Cohen then slowly walks up to Boredom and begins to describe all of the options Boredom could have had had he gone to college. Boredom screams in agony for Bryan to stop. His screaming is so loud that it makes Lauren Manning use her Straightening Iron to melt his mouth shut. Jazzma Pryor approaches Boredom, revealing ten screaming babies and focuses their yelling onto Boredom’s ears. The screaming, in addition to Bryan’s advice, makes Boredom’s head explode!  Boredom has been defeated.
The Care-Givers go over to WTC and free them from the chains that were keeping them hostage. WTC thanks the Care-Givers profusely for their efforts and for being there at such short notice. The meadow transforms back into the warehouse it once was and WTC decides to make this space the permanent home and headquarters for their cause. The building is from then on known as the Who Truly Care Givers Center for Inspiration. 
The city of Chicago has been changed forever and is now filled with citizens who are excited about life and who are always looking for ways to better themselves. WTC would not have been able to inspire these people without the selfless acts of the Care-Givers. WTC will forever be grateful for them. Thank you Care-Givers, thank you.  

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